Anguish - a Jalice Fanfiction
by Soul Dog
Summary: Alice grew up in darkness, alone and afraid. Jasper was raised in the belief that he was the lowest of the low. Both are in constant pain, both inside and out. Can they heal each other's heartache? All-human. Rated M for a reason so please don't complain. Cover image drawn by myself.
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

_**Chapter 1 ~**_ _ **Prologue**_

 **I really hope you like this story! I hope to make this a full-length fanfiction, and I really hope you like it!**

 **Disclaimer: You know damn well I do not own Twilight. I ain't saying it formally. Bite me.**

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My heart beats hard, like a bass drum. I swallow hard, and raise my hand, slowly pressing it to the doorbell.

I hear the soft chirps of the doorbell ringing through the hall inside.

The next thirty seconds were the longest of my life, and when Carlisle opened the door I felt my whole body grow cold with nerves.

"H-hi, Doctor Cullen," I stammer. "C-can I s-see her?"

Carlisle eyes me, and Esme appears behind him. They murmur in between themselves for a little while, occasionally glancing at me.

As they turn back to face me, I bite my lip.

 _What's wrong with me?_ I ask myself in my head. _I'm never this nervous. But then ... I've never been in this situation before._

Carlisle sighs softly.

"Okay, Jasper. Let's see how she reacts. If she does not want to see you, though, then you need to leave, all right?"

I nod, and walk into the hall as the doctor and his wife step aside. The house is just as I remember - large and warm, with sleek wooden floors and creamy white walls. I'd forgotten just how homey it was.

As I make my way through the hall, the pictures on the bookcase catch my eye.

Not just of the family, or of important family events. The one person who makes me stare - my beautiful little angel, my pixie - is my little darling Ali.

Carlisle clears his throat, and I realize I've been standing, frozen, for about forty seconds. I mumble an apology and shuffle upstairs. Esme walks ahead of me and gently knocks the door.

"Alice, honey?"

"What?" I hear a soft voice drift out from under the door, and my heart skips a beat. I'd almost forgotten how musical and silky her voice was; like honey. I try to keep my breathing even.

"You have a guest."

"Bella?"

"No ... someone else."

There is a pause, and I try not to rip my hair out.

"Why should I let him see me?"

My heart cracks, and I lower my eyes, crestfallen. I had promised myself that I would not speak, but right now, nothing matters. Nothing but Alice.

"Ali," I murmur, and Carlisle looks at me sharply.

"Ali, please let me see you. Please let me explain." I do my best to ignore Carlisle and Esme, who stand still and silent, staring at me accusingly. I keep my eyes glued to the door, and my eyes widen softly as I hear soft footsteps approaching the door.

The door opens a little bit, but I still can not see her.

"Jasper ... I ... okay. But only you."

I nod respectfully to Carlisle and Esme and silently slip into her room.

As I look down at her, my heart snaps clean in two. My beautiful little angel pixie looks awful.

Her hair is short even more messy than usual, and greasy. She looks a whole lot skinnier, and she trembles softly with every breath. Every move she makes is tentative and slow, and her clothes look shaggy. Even her skin looks chalky; even more pale than usual and to unhealthy greyish color. When she looks up at me, I did find I can not bear to look away.

Her eyes, once a beautiful crystal silver-blue, are now dull, and dark grey.

I find myself lost in the gray voids of her irises. I want to hug her tighter than I have ever hugged anyone. I want to cradle her to my chest and kiss her tears away. I want to steal away her sorrows and make her life perfect again.

But I can not ... because she hates me. I love her more than life itself, and she hates me.

I'm a selfish bastard.

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 **This was a prologue - you do not need to understand everything yet ^^ All will be explained in time!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Alice's Story

**Whoo, another chapter! I hope this goes okay. I've managed to get a favourite and three followers already - thank you so much!**

 **I'm so glad you've come back to see what happens next. I really love writing and I hope to publish a book someday, so these little nudges of encouragement are amazing. Thank you all!**

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 **Alice POV**

Another day, another hell.

My life is anything but happy. It's always just work, work and more work. Ever since I ran away, I'd spend day shifts in a crappy KFC and the night shifts in an even more crappy dollar store.

It wasn't much pay, but it was enough to get food and keep clean enough to be respectable. Otherwise I had just had to resort to stealing - usually just from dropped wallets or little notes or coins lying on the ground. It was hardly enough to survive, but it was better than the hell I endured back home in Biloxi, Mississippi.

I was happy once. Seems strange, seeing all I went through. I'm happy now - well, happy enough. But as a kid... man, those were good days.

I'd spend the mornings playing with my baby sister, and the afternoons just goofing around. I'd watch movies with my parents, I'd run around and climb trees. I'd swim in the river, and I'd do hopscotch with the neighbors. It was a great life.

Kids have it so easy. They don't have anything to worry about except what candy to buy with their small amounts of pocket money. I wish I could capture the essence of childhood - scoop up the memories and place them back in my cracked heart to stitch it up and make me whole again.

My mother, Penelope Brandon, was married to my father, David Brandon. My full name back then was Mary Alice Brandon, and I had a gorgeous little sister called Cynthia. My parents were kind and everything was all right.

However, when I was five, I had a sort of vision. Everything went dark, and then I collapsed, the sight of my father burning in a crumpled car filling my head. My parents were spooked, but my father simply hugged me, promising me everything was going to be okay. I wish he hadn't promised that. I've grown to despise promises.

A year after I had the vision, David took the car and left, driving for Seattle for a meeting. However, just a few hours later the police appeared at our door with the grave news.

My father had swerved to avoid a deer, and driven into a head-on collision with a truck. He had been killed instantly and apparently the car had gone up in flames. My mother crumpled to the ground right in front of the officers, weeping. They had helped her up, and the next year was a blur of legal documents, funeral preparations, the actual funeral and condolences from loved ones and neighbors.

All because of a goddamn deer.

Anyways, a few years later, my mother remarried to a disgusting man, called Rick Adams. He was actually a pretty nice guy before they married, but as soon as they got back from their honeymoon - and, I suspect, during the honeymoon - the abuse started.

It was just on my mother at first. I was first made aware of this when I was twelve, and I heard her starting to scream and cry every night. Every day she looked worse - she was covered in bruises and cuts. Her room stank of something I didn't recognize, along with the unmistakable scent of blood. As I grew older, I realized what he was doing to her every night, and I was horrified.

I started to lash out in her defense. Whenever Rick would yell at her, or hit her, or threaten her, I would clear my throat. As time went on, I began talking back to him, and at one point I struck him. Immediately his face was painted with fury, and he towered above me, fists raised.

It was that very night that I aquired my first scar - a small, straight line on my left collarbone. It isn't much; just a little white line, but it is a constant reminder of the abuse me and my family was put through.

When I was sixteen, I gave up. I couldn't help my mother any more than I already had. I contacted the police, but they shrugged it off, telling me to 'give it some time and see what happened'. I could see what would happen. I left a few weeks after my sixteenth birthday.

I tried to take Cynthia, but she refused to leave mother, and Penny refused to come in case Rick tried to follow us. I was heartbroken, but I left alone.

I spent the next few years in Philadelphia, working two jobs, and even got a tattoo, but the peace only lasted until the police found me. Rick was contacted, and I confessed to the abuse in front of a formal court.

Thank god, my mother and Cynthia was still alive, but my mother looked terrible. Rick lost parental rights and I was put up for adoption. I was adopted by Esme and Carlisle Cullen, who were living in a small town nearby.

Since then, I've been living with them, and my life has improved greatly. I started school again, and I'll be taking my final year after the summer - only a month and a half away. I kept my job at KFC - Carlisle and Esme said I could keep working at one if I wished, but they suggested the restaurant due to the low hygiene in the dollar store.

My life was looking a little brighter, but I didn't get my hopes up. At least, until I met him.

Him. The spark that made my life light up like a bonfire.

Jasper.

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 **So here's Alice's story! Next chapter - Jasper's history, and then we can get on with the story!**


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